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The Duke of Devonshire's programme included the building of Dungarvan's Causeway Bridge.

Times are hard and look to be getting harder. A little over a year ago, the government voted to give control of the country to foreigners. The political party deemed responsible has been voted out. And the year is 1802.

Dungarvan in 1802 was a shambles of close set medieval lanes and crowded houses. Two thirds of the town was owned by the Duke of Devonshire and ‘austerity’ was a way of life. Grattan’s Parliament had voted itself out of existence and Ireland was united with England, Wales and Scotland. And the first chance voters got to express their displeasure came when the Duke’s hand picked candidate stood for election. He was trounced.

That caught the Duke’s attention and an Agent, a man named Henry Bowman, journeyed to Dungarvan to assess the situation. Bowman’s recommendations transformed the town. He proposed a programme of building “out of which may be created many good votes both from the borough and county.”

We live with the result – a central market square to replace the slums in the town centre; a market house to promote business; and a stone bridge to link Abbeyside to the main town and encourage east-west traffic between Lismore and Waterford.

The result of this economic stimulus? Bowman wrote the Duke to tell him that the project “has created a revolution in public sentiment… It has set man’s minds a speculating and roving. Some expect they may be favoured with a good house, others that they may obtain profits by being employed or by selling something during the erection of the buildings…”

Austerity versus stimulus – it’s not a new debate.

This nugget of useful information comes right off the wall at the wonderful Dungarvan Museum – www.dungarvanmuseum.org – a treasure trove of matters Dungarvan. Definitely worth a look!

When visiting Dungarvan, you’ll also want to check out the finest beach around and Clonea Strand Hotel.

Musicians know that Dungarvan is the place to be for the Munster Fleadh in July 2012

What’s a fleadh?

For those of us who don’t speak Irish, the first question is how to pronounce it. Is it flee-ad? fleed? The unlikely answer is flah, as in open your mouth and say ahhhh….

Silent ‘e’. Silent ‘d’. Silent ‘h’. For a word with so much silence, the meaning is ironic. Fleadh (flahhhh!) means festival. And, typically, a ‘Fleadh’ is a festival of music. Hardly silent.

Take the Munster Fleadh. (a ‘Munster’ is the southwest province of Ireland, that is, counties Waterford, Cork, Kerry, Limerick, Tipperary and Clare.) The Munster Fleadh is a week of traditional Irish music, song and dance. And this year’s flahhhh takes place in Dungarvan.

Yes! This Dungarvan. Dungarvan, County Waterford, Ireland, Europe.

And from the moment on Sunday, the 15th of July when the official opening ceremony and concert take place, through the traditional Irish music workshops and recitals, the week of street music and pub sessions, onto the final huge weekend of competitions, concerts and dances, and closing events on Sunday, the 22nd of July – well this incredibly long run-on sentence only begins to capture the scale of the Munster Fleadh.

For the full programme of events and loads more, go to the official website – www.munsterfleadh.ie.

Note: Thousands of families and trad music lovers will descend on Dungaravan during this week. Finding accommodation will be a challenge. Blog sponsors Clonea Strand Hotel, Gold Coast Golf Hotel, Bayview Caravan Camping, Gold Coast Self Catering (including Cottages, Lodges, Villas and Suites) are all available for booking.

The fifth biggest town in Ireland cannot be found on any map of the island. It is bigger than Waterford and Dungarvan put together, but you’ll look in vain for its location on Google maps or Wikipedia. This place is a phantom, moving year by year, its populace continually changing and always on the move. Yet, it occupies roughly a square mile of Irish countryside, its streets are made of metal and annually it imports thousands of farm animals to occupy its dozens of huge barns.

“It” is the National Ploughing Championship – the centrepiece of the farming year. Taking place at the end of September, the Ploughing Championship attracts upwards of 1,100 exhibitors and nearly 200,000 visitors over its three day appearance.

This instant town celebrates all things farming. Visitors can view whole milking parlours, tractors gigundus, balers, harvesters, binders, swathers and all the assorted arcana of farm machinery. There are food stands selling every variety of Irish beef hamburgers, gadgeteers galore, displays of old threshing machines, stands displaying the wares of every green energy supplier in Ireland, sackfuls of leaflets, and a giant amusement park with rides guaranteed to make the faint-hearted sick.

Hey, there are even ploughing championships! You can thrill to the glacial progress of horse ploughs or watch modern tractors cut multiple furrows in one go. Name a farm animal and you’ll find some sort of competition for best of. Name a type of tart, flower arrangement, jam or cake and you’re sure to see a whole bunch of satisfied looking judges stuffing their faces while anxious entrants await decisions.

This is it – the Big Kahuna of Irish farming. And this coming year, 25th-27th September 2012, the Ploughing Championships will be coming to New Ross in County Wexford, less than an hour’s drive from Dungarvan.

As you’d expect with an instant city boasting all manner of fast food but with nary a bedroom in sight, hotels within reach are booking up fast. Check out Clonea Strand Hotel, on an EU designated Blue Flag beach. Enjoy a full day exploring what will be South East Ireland’s biggest town, then relax to the soothing sound of the sea.

2012 National Ploughing Championships, Heathpark, New Ross, Co Wexford, 25th-27th September

The neighbours turn out for a table quiz at the Gold Coast Golf Hotel.

The very first quiz featured a husband and wife team. The prize was a paradisiacal home and so much wealth that they’d never have to work a day in their lives. The format adopted for this precedent setting event was for the Quizmaster to tempt the wife with something she really wanted, the veritable apple of her eye. Even though she had been specifically warned her not to go for the obvious answer, in her excitement, the woman chose incorrectly.

Ashamed, the husband rushed offstage and hid behind a tree. The furious Producer wandered around looking for either contestant, and finding them, banished the pair from the show, telling them in no uncertain terms that they’d blown it and would have to work by the sweat of their brows from that day forward.

So Adam and Eve were cast out of Eden and tortured themselves ever after with the thought that they almost gave the right answer.

The next key date in Irish Quiz history came in the 1980′s, about the time that tea bags first became an acceptable substitute for the genuine article. It was during that decade, which also witnessed the Emerald Isle’s introduction to music videos and wine, that the first table quiz came to Ireland. Before too long there were semi-professional foursomes competing for the cash prizes.

Brendan O'Brien, Dungarvan's Table Quiz Maestro, at the Gold Coast Golf Hotel.

The latter half of the 1990′s  witnessed the final apotheosis of the table quiz format. For it was then that Brendan (Bob) O’Brien began hosting local contests. The man runs dozens of table quizzes a year for local groups and is himself responsible for raising well over a million euro for good causes.

Brendan is a table quiz genius! Not only are his quizzes really fun, but there are homilies laced through the proceedings. Take this stumper: “What is greater than God, worse than the devil, and you will die if you eat it?”

Brendan’s latest masterpiece of quiztory was organised in aid of the Munster Fleadh, the great traditional music festival, which will arrive in Dungarvan in mid-July 2012. Participants gathered at the Gold Coast Golf Hotel which furnished the excellent venue.  Fits of laughter and rambunctious sing-alongs were evidence of the good time had by all.

Full disclosure requires me to note that the writer of this essay was part of the team whose brilliance garnered third place in the quiz. To honour our quick wit, the Gold Coast Golf  Hotel graciously awarded ‘Table 19′ a free lunch at the Hotel’s excellent restaurant. I can truly say from the bottom of my gut that this well deserved prize tickled our celebratory taste buds.

Thanks Brendan! Thanks Gold Coast. Go Fleadh!

The answer: Nothing is greater than God, Nothing is worse than the devil and you will die if you eat Nothing.

Minced Pies - the taste of an Irish Christmas

When does the Christmas Season begin? Before Halloween, if the profusion of red and green packaging in the stores is a guide.

But, officially? It seems to take a big holiday to get the ball rolling. Thanksgiving turkeys in America are followed by Black Friday, the biggest shopping day in the American calendar.

Ireland holds fire for nearly another two weeks. December 8th marks the official launch of the Christmas shopping season. This is the day in the Catholic calendar when Mary was conceived, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception.

Not too long ago, December 8th was a rather low key affair. Stores and schools were closed that day. The faithful went to church and then returned home for a quiet meal with the family and the standard round of farm and household chores.

Gone be the days! Now the stores are open, the street decorations lit, the throngs thronging. And thus begins a continual round of get-togethers: company parties, parish happenings, choral offerings and invites to this and that and t’other.

The baking starts in earnest. With so many women in the work force, you’d think the production of Christmas puddings and fairy cake confections would suffer. Not a bit of it! Mountains of minced pies are made – and promptly eaten. ‘Mincemeat’ is the filling inside these miniature pot pies, but no meat is involved. The ‘meat’ is really fruit, nuts, butter – and for the hardcore traditionalists – suet. Heated and flaky, they are the taste of an Irish Christmas.

The really crazy shopping day, the Madness, is Christmas Eve Day, that is, the 24th of December. The population descends on the shopping streets and the lines for the cash registers snake through the stores. Many head to town just to enjoy the bustle. This is also the day that neighbours drop in on each other to say hello and drop off gifts and snort each other’s wine and whiskey. That evening, Midnight Mass is stuffed.

And on Christmas, so are the rest of us.

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For a Christmas treat, check out the special offerings at Clonea Holiday Resort and Gold Coast Golf Resort - the sponsors of this blog.

A traditional Halloween bonfire.

Halloween in Ireland used to amount to spring cleaning. In some neighbourhoods, folks contributed their old tires, off cuts of lumber, rags, old mattresses and assorted garage detritus to a large central stockpile. The whole was liberally doused with gasoline and as night falls, the entire toxic mess was set alight while capering children excitedly inhaled the poisonous fumes.

Ahh, All Hollows Eve in Auld Ireland.

Government diktat has ended the most noxious bonfires. The recent American import of dressing up and going door to door for candy has taken its place. There are always numerous donations of fruit and home made cookies and, thankfully, these are still safe to enjoy. Costumes are mostly home produced and face paint figures prominently. Fireworks abound. Explosions routinely rock the air.

On my first halloween in Ireland, neighbours filled my head with true stories of local mysteries and spectral sightings. In the dark, I headed up the lane to my own home. No light. Houses are scattered hundreds of yards apart and I was on a deserted stretch of road when…

A heart stopping screech suddenly rent the silent night. SCREEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

My heart leapt, adrenaline pumped, and my mind instantly fixated on two all important questions. Does Ireland have mountain lions and how high is this ditch I’m about to leap over?

Then, bang!

A firework exploded and my heart crept from between my teeth. The kids up the lane had just set off their first “screamer”.

Night time wanderers, take note. The last wild wolf was killed in the 1600’s, the last bear in prehistoric times and lions never made it to Ireland during this glacial era.

by Scott Simons

Note: The sponsors of this blog, Clonea Holiday Resort, offer a smashing Halloween week special offer. Families and couples will want to check it out.

Some words just don’t go together.  Jumbo shrimp. Work party. Easy payments.

The language is filled with such indispensable oxymorons. There’s everyone’s favourite – tax free. And white chocolate. Calm winds. Peace force. Plastic straw.

Dungarvan is a geologic oxymoron. This is a flat mountain town. Overlooking the town are the Comeragh Mountains and the Drumhills. Dún Garbhán itself is flat.

The folks organising the most prestigious biking event in the south of Ireland know from oxymorons. They chose to design a bicycle get-together that’s ‘easy hard’. So, they consulted Ireland’s most famous cyclist, Sean Kelly. Sean won 193 professional bike races in total. He grew up cycling right out his door into, over and around the Comeraghs. He knows these hills, here it comes, upside down.

The man belongs definitively on the mountainous side of the Dungarvan oxymoron. He knows the true aficionados want power climbs and open roads. But, the Sunday bicyclist with kids in tow seeks flat flat flat.

The solution is the Sean Kelly race which is really four races wrapped into one giant event. There’s the Kelly Ten, a 10 km family event that follows the scenic bayside cycle track from Dungarvan to the Irish Sea. Then there are 50 and 90 km events for those looking to stretch themselves. And finally, there’s the “tough, tough part of the tour and not for the fainthearted”. That’s how the organisers describe a 160 km route that includes two Category One climbs in the Comeragh mountains.

The solution to the oxymoron, then, is as varied as West Waterford. Flat mountains and all.

The Sean Kelly Tour takes place in late August every year. Check out the Sean Kelly Tour website. And hotel, self-catering and caravan accommodation is available from this blog’s sponsors, Clonea Holiday Resort.

Dail Deputy John Deasy addresses the Global Intelligence Forum in Dungarvan Ireland

Intelligence. What a great name for an industry! Yes, please, I’d like some of that.

Dungarvan played host to a Global Intelligence Forum which means, I guess, that we’re planetarily smart. Next up has to be Solar System Intelligence and then Universal Intelligence where everyone knows everything about everyone.  But, that’s already got a name – Facebook.

Is there another business with such a consummately desirable title? Well, there’s the Beauty industry. Women head to the Beauty Salon to pick up their weekly six pack. But the sloppier half of the human race will not be found within. Beauty excludes the beast.

And then there’s the Alternative Health profession. That’s certainly more alluring than Medicine, but that Alternative bit has to go. What exactly is the Alternative to Health? And do you really want your product labelled as the Alternative?

Bankers might privately believe that they run Wealth enterprises, but no one else could say it without laughing.

No, for all around appeal, you definitely want to go with a set of people who spied the main chance, operators knowledgeable about our most covert and confidential secrets and desires. Canny and clever, nifty as 007. We all need more Intelligence.

And apparently Dungarvan’s the place to get it.

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While visiting Dungarvan, you might want to check out the special offers at Clonea Strand Hotel, located on the finest beach for dozens of miles in any direction. It’s the intelligent thing to do.

There’s nothing like a fresh seafood salad. Some shrimp, crab, lobster, a few small fish – who wouldn’t tuck in?

Now add a bit of squid to flesh out the flavour. And for that perfect dash of something extra, toss in a few dozen worms. Not earthworms, of course, but the segmented kind that wave tentacles about and bury themselves in sand and sediment. Yummy! Finally, add free swimming larvae, sand eels and plenty of fertilized eggs.

Now eat this nutritious diet for twenty or thirty years. The result: you might come to weigh upwards of 30 pounds – if you’re a Sea Bass. And if you’re a Sea Bass, you’ll be hard put to find a better seafood salad bar than the Waterford County coastline.

Oh, those shrewd Kerry folk have been pushing their Inch Strand for donkey’s years as thee place in Ireland to catch Sea Bass. But that beach is overfished and besides, the European Sea Bass is at the upper limit of its range here in Ireland. It’s always preferred the tasty treats to be found in the warmer waters further south. Specifically Waterford.

Here your average ravenous Bass will find a superior choice of cuisine, worms du jour and sand eels too delectable for words. And any fish that’s been around for a couple of decades knows that the best place to find the ideal fish stew is amidst the tidepools and along the tide line of a shelving shore. In other words, only a few feet out along the beaches and coves and bays which abound along the Waterford coast.

This hungry crew are close enough to hit with a stone. Or, more usually, with a short cast of hefty bait. Hardcore fishermen natter on about the advantages of a ‘pennel rig’ versus a ‘bass bullet’ or ‘flying Cs’. It all adds up to this: you can catch these hard fighting beauties on lovely evenings while standing on shore.

Clonea Strand and the Gold Coast are just about ideal Sea Bass food haunts. Famed fishing photographer Henry Gilbey spent a fortnight at the Gold Coast Golf Resort enjoying fabulous success in his quest for the voracious critter. You can view photos of his Dungarvan excursion here.

But, remember, the norm is catch and release. In fact, commercial fishing for these lads is banned and so is fishing for them during spawning season – 15th May to 15th June each year. Minimum catch size is 40 cm and you can’t take more than two per day.

In much of Europe they’re farming Sea Bass. In Dungarvan we swim with them.

Venice takes a back seat to Dungarvan when it comes to the annual blessing of the boats. The Venetians may have been performing their symbolic “Marriage to the Sea” for more than a thousand years, but Dungarvan beats them to the punch in this twenty-first century.

Marriage to the Sea – Venetian Style

See, the Venetians wait until Ascension Day, June 5th, for the big day. Back before the mayor took over this duty, the Doge would board his fabulously decorated barge, the Bucentaur. He was rowed into the Adriatic Sea by 168 oarsmen with 40 sailors and up to 90 high officials aboard. There a prayer was offered “for us and all who sail thereon the sea may be calm and quiet”. Then, while priests sprinkled holy water and chanted Psalm 51 – “Sprinkle me with hyssop, and I will be clean” – the Doge tossed a beautiful marriage ring overboard to symbolise the marriage of Venice to the Sea.

Dungarvan’s annual blessing of the boat ceremony precedes the laggardly Venetians by weeks and weeks. Ours takes place in mid-May. So there!

Some of the ceremony, it must grudgingly be admitted, is not quite as resplendent as the old Venetian ceremony.  The Dungarvan Harbour Sailing Club Chairman does not don a robe of gold cloth and bejeweled crown for the event. But, we too have prayers of intercession and invite the blessing of the Lord on the many boats which sail in Dungarvan’s waters.

Dungarvan’s inner harbour looking toward the Comeragh Mountains

No, Dungarvan’s event does not feature a hugely expensive wedding ring tossed overboard. But, the local RNLI Rescue boat does carry a wreath out to the Irish Sea where it is placed in memory of those who lost their lives at sea.

All in all, the extensive sailing community of Dungarvan need feel no less proud of their own nautical achievements as the proud Italian Republic. Visitors to Dungarvan can charter local boats which serve the diving and fishing community. You can contact Clonea Strand Resort for information.